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Toward the end of Pastor Blake’s message today he prayed: "May we chase, may we embrace the Holy Spirit in our life.” This spoke so truly to me, along with the question, “God, Holy Spirit, who am I supposed to reach today?” After a few weeks of feeling disconnected to our gathering for various personal reasons, I felt (what feels like) the truth of the Holy Spirit reflected in the words shared today. I’ve often felt that the Holy Spirit is what chases me, like the “Reckless Love” song that I am absolutely enamored with when we sing, “Oh it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the 99.”

I have felt like the Holy Spirit has been my constant companion, even in times the I felt that God had forsaken me…something that I feel we’re not usually encouraged to talk about in the Christian faith. There were what I’ve heard called, “bathroom floor moments” in my life where I’m literally bawling my eyes out, having a heaving chest and unable to stand, feeling like I’ve been taken down—so to speak—and that God has forgotten me…and then when I am at my brink and call out, sometimes in completely incomprehensible sounds, a sudden, and quick calmness pours over me. It freezes me in my pain and removes the anxiety and the fear, it pours over me that calm and assurance that is the Holy Spirit. 

I say that it is like that song in that it “chases me down” not only during moments where I’m weary, but when I need to be inspired to share God’s love. I can think of a few times in my marriage in the last year where I felt my stubborn ego tell me, “No, he can come talk to me.” Or worse, “I don’t need to say anything, it’s not my problem.” And then I feel something that’s more than a nudge, more than an inspiration, it’s a MOVEMENT. I will literally feel something in me that’s moving me to stand, step out of myself, and go speak with love. It’s like what the scripture says about the Holy Spirit being the wind, only it arrives as a wind flowing not only around me, but also inside of me. For me, The Holy Spirit is the movement that is the most powerful and most empowering experience of God. I would say that if you haven’t “felt” it, the next time you witness something that “speaks to you”, consider how you felt it, where you felt it, and what it made you feel and then think about how it is a reflection of God’s love working in your life.