Toward the end of Pastor Blake’s message today he prayed: "May we chase, may we embrace the Holy Spirit in our life.” This spoke so truly to me, along with the question, “God, Holy Spirit, who am I supposed to reach today?” After a few weeks of feeling disconnected to our gathering for various personal reasons, I felt (what feels like) the truth of the Holy Spirit reflected in the words shared today. I’ve often felt that the Holy Spirit is what chases me, like the “Reckless Love” song that I am absolutely enamored with when we sing, “Oh it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the 99.”
I have felt like the Holy Spirit has been my constant companion, even in times the I felt that God had forsaken me…something that I feel we’re not usually encouraged to talk about in the Christian faith. There were what I’ve heard called, “bathroom floor moments” in my life where I’m literally bawling my eyes out, having a heaving chest and unable to stand, feeling like I’ve been taken down—so to speak—and that God has forgotten me…and then when I am at my brink and call out, sometimes in completely incomprehensible sounds, a sudden, and quick calmness pours over me. It freezes me in my pain and removes the anxiety and the fear, it pours over me that calm and assurance that is the Holy Spirit.